I''ll be seeing you.

dear friends,

This is indeed a hard letter for me to write , but it is time to close 'daily parcels'.

You all know of the struggle I have had over the past two months

and my lovely daily parcels went places I didn't want it to go

I was struggling to keep it on track.

like I said I have lost 'friends' and gained others. Many of you have either commented here or emailed me in support. Some of your advice really struck a cord with me and helped me to make t his decision.

thankyou for that!

some have said that they want daily parcels to continue but I really think I am needing to move on to a new blog -

starting afresh. Being me.

I won't delete daily parcels as it is dear to my heart and shows my journey this past year. to delete it would be to deny that part of me.

I love the format of daily parcels and don't want to change that but each time I come here to post, I feel, well not quite the same as I did before 'all that jazz' went on. It has left an awful taste in my mouth.

However - my new blog will be up and running soon, I promise.

And you know me - it will probably be within hours..... of course it will be the same ms*robyn but also different. keep a watch.

much love to you always xoxo R

I am not a tough cookie - words from my heart

oh dear

you know what? I am not a tough cookie, I don't have a hard shell. I am lost, really I am. I visit blogs and know that alot of my friends have worries, just like I have but you have all been here for me, while I wallow in my self pity. yes, I know you will say I am being hard on myself, but bear with me.

I have lost many friends in the past few weeks over my spiritual beliefs. and it hurts, it really does. I can't help being like this. I don't seem to fit into a category anymore. Friends that would comment don't visit. that hurts - is it vanity?

But what do I do? beg people to like me? change my beliefs? I know I continually post about this (and I am not looking for sympathy or kudos) but I am no closer to an answer than I was when it first started. I know I have said this before and only stay away for a minute before the chatter gets the better of me

but friends ~ I am so close to giving up & leaving daily parcels for-ever.........maybe start over somewhere else.

alone

tonight I sleep alone. my dear soul mate has gone on his yearly jaunt for one night and two days to play golf. not sure how I am feeling - at first it is like an adventure - I plan my dinner (mushroom risotto) & put all the pillows in the middle of the bed and then as the night draws closer, I realize that I will be in my bed all by myself. kind of bittersweet, I would say.

in a state, indeed

dear friends - well I have myself in an absolute state of anxiety. You see, my yearly oncology checkup is this Friday and as usual, the week preceding my checkup I become - well not quite normal.

I forget things, drop things and have constant panic attacks...breathe, breathe, breathe I keep telling myself. You will be fine, I keep telling myself. of course I will but I am scared.
I know I am past the five year mark this year, but it still doesnt lessen the fear of recurrence.
so if I don't visit much this week, once again I am sorry.

full moon & the goddess ms*robyn

tonight is full moon and once again I had a delightful evening with my friends - dancing around the fire to the beat of a drum. candles. writing affirmations on paper and burning them and best of all picking a goddess that I could relate to at this time..... mine was the crone - Hecate - although I did have trouble choosing - being a little like Lilith & Sophia as well, but I guess we all have a little bit of each goddess in each of us!!! then we had the obligatory feast - mulled wine, chocolate, brie cheese and kiwi fruit. what fun! the small group of women that I belong to are starting to bond & form special friendships. It is just wonderful........ much like this lovely little group of internet blogging friends that we are forming here.......... and now ms*Nicole (the smary pants one) had kindly made us a button for our ya-ya blogs......
the blog where you can have a meltdown or a rant or where you can be completely and utterly demented at *that time of month* or even just when a full moon occurs
RULES
1. be honest
2. no judging

........wanna join? just post here and ask Nicole for a copy of her badge and go ahead and create your meltdown blog
little miss ya-ya

Our gracious Queen

celebrating the Queen's birthday this long weekend. I guess you could say that I am a royalist and proud of it! I can't see the point in changing something that isn't broke. I do think she is sweet!! I like Charles as I can relate to him quite alot - I love the fact that he talks to his plants. None of them can help the life that they were born into at all, exactly the same as all of us - we do the best we can with what knowledge and understanding we have. It is easy to sit back and judge others when we aren't in the thick of things. no-one in the world has all the answers.

I remember proudly singing God Save the Queen as a little girl in school, standing up very straight and feeling this overwhelming pride in my country. Can we say we do that these days?

I am thinking of having a simply scrumptious afternoon tea tomorrow afternoon - maybe a victorian sponge complete with fresh strawberries and cream - tea made in my vintage silver teapot - served in all my fine vintage china! It is fun to make believe sometimes, don't you think?

God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen!
Send her victorious,
Happy and Glorious,
Long to reign over us;
God save the Queen!

pandoras box? or have I created a monster

wow! I didnt expect the overwhelming support of my newest blog, my alter ego * whatever happened to ms*robyn!

seems to me that we all have days or weeks when we just need to honour our TRUE feelings and have a complete meltdown

or dummy spit as we say here in Ausatralia

* a few even asked if they could post on the blog - so I got to thinking (as I do)

and thought that maybe each of you who want to, should start their own little escape,

where you can go and vent, have your meltdown and come back home to your main blog and post about the pretty things in your lives.....

a suggestion from Lady Laurie was to call it the ya-ya club - great idea!

so I invite each of you to join the ya-ya club, make your own blog * have as much fun with it as you want * you can be totally insane if you wish

let me know and I will link it on mine * mine is kind of a kind of tongue in cheek blog * making fun of those awful times

* once I posted the first post on mine, I just can't tell you how relieved I felt, much lighter and in control once again....

I may not post often only whenever I feel the need to scream.

of course ~ Daily parcels will continue on as the part of me that loves all things vintage - just like it started out to be.

whatever happened to baby jane?

I love that movie! but if you are wondering whatever happened to ms*robyn - you can go here:

so just what did happen to her?

keeping daily parcels how I always wanted it to be.

starting over

oh lord! have been visiting a few blogs this afternoon - all full of cheer and gorgeous things - gardening and home-making and then came back here - the past few weeks are full of nothing but me being sorry for myself. Oh, I know you will all say that I am allowed to be - well, yes I guess I am. But I feel that it has brought Daily Parcels to a place that I didn't want to go. so do I start a new blog, delete the posts?(no, that would be denying that it ever happened & would be denying my authentic self) or do I just continue on with this blog - hoping to pull it up to where I want it to be?